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about

A song about the cynicism that can come with taking anti-depressants.

lyrics

Horrible things have happened, and I feel horrible.
Wonderful things have happened, and I feel horrible.
But they’ve introduced me to a friend, and they say that
9 times out of 10 this friend will make all of the bad times end.
Well, alright.

I don’t think I set myself on fire unwillingly.
Emotions prove we’re alive, but mine were killing me.
So, reapproach if I love you dearly,
And my friend will protect you from who I really am.

My little buddy helps me frame the situation as a lie.
My little buddy helps me handle everything like I’m a normal guy.
My little buddy puts a window in-between me and the dread.
My little buddy says that even if it’s real it’s only in my head.
And now I’m…

I’m happy. I’m so happy. I’m happy. I’m really, really happy.
I’m so happy. Honestly, I’m happy.
I’ve never, never ever in my life been so happy.
I’m happy, yes, I’m so happy. I’m happy. I’m really, really happy.
I’m so happy. Honestly, I’m happy.
I’ve never been this happy, ever.

It’s been a year and I don’t think I feel anything.
Nothing too good or too bad, my pal ate everything.
I once swapped all my friends for feelings,
But now I’ve swapped all of my feelings for a friend.

But my little buddy calms the storm that used to live behind my lips.
My little buddy feeds the whale that used to swallow my relationships.
My little buddy makes me sane enough to one day be a dad.
But my little buddy thinks it’s funny when he goes and makes my sperm count bad.

I think I’d rather be the bird who flies but doesn’t have the brains to doubt her wings.
But I’m not sure.
Anyway.

I’m happy. I’m so happy. I’m happy. I’m really, really happy.
I’m so happy. Honestly, I’m happy.
I’ve never, never ever in my life been so happy.
I’m happy. I’m so happy. I’m happy.
Believe me, I am happy.
I’m happy.
Did I mention I was happy?
I’ve never in my life been SO FUCKING HAPPY.

Horrible things have happened, and I feel horrible.
Wonderful things have happened, and I feel horrible.
But they’ve introduced me to a friend, and they say that
Every now and then this friend will point a blade at me and say:
“You’ve never been so happy. Never, never, never. never, never”.
NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER.

credits

from Listening to the Cure / Citalopram, released June 30, 2023
Written, produced and performed by Tom Hughes.
Guitar solos by Billy Evans.

license

all rights reserved

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about

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Colonel Dax Wrexham, UK

Colonel Dax is an alternative rock/multimedia project based around the songwriting of Tom Hughes (let's drop the 3rd-person act. It's me writing this).

I champion the "homemade" approach, and therefore all Dax output is entirely self-produced.

The Dax live band are renowned for tight, fun and at times "explosive" sets. ... more

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